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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25812922">Crime &amp; Starlight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazy_storm_clouds/pseuds/lazy_storm_clouds'>lazy_storm_clouds</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Arya is a bit of a kleptomaniac, Gen, Humor, Jon is straight up in a constant state of Panic™, Jonsa briefly in the end, Modern Setting, Other characters are briefly mentioned - Freeform, Robb does not have as many lines as I should have given him, hijinks and antics, written on mobile</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:56:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,451</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25812922</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazy_storm_clouds/pseuds/lazy_storm_clouds</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon, Theon, and the Starks are all at the annual charity auction hosted by the royal family. Antics ensue.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jon Snow &amp; the Starklings &amp; Theon, Jon Snow/Sansa Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Crime &amp; Starlight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Well, I was so happy with the response to my previous work that I wrote another one! Please enjoy!<br/>This is slightly based off a dialogue prompt I saw about pickpocketing the president.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What do you mean you pickpocketed the King?” Jon hisses.</p><p>Arya looks away, her arms crossed, and shrugs. “I don’t know. It was just reflex.”</p><p>“Reflex? It shouldn’t <em>be</em> a reflex! Do you pickpocket everyone you hug?” Jon’s hands are flying everywhere as he scolds Arya.</p><p>“Mostly,” she states.</p><p>“<em>What?</em>”</p><p>“Do you want your glasses back then?”</p><p>“You have them? Arya, I haven’t been able to read anything for a week! I accidentally told someone congratulations on a post about a <em>funeral!</em>”</p><p>Arya’s shoulders shake from badly stifled laughter. Jon frowns.</p><p>“Anyway, that shouldn’t mean you pickpocket the bloody king! And of an heirloom that’s made of ridiculous amounts of gold and jewels! It’s- what is it, anyway?”</p><p>Arya studies the odd heirloom before just shrugging helplessly. She’s as confused as he is.</p><p>“I don’t know. Looks like an old spyglass, just fancier.”</p><p>“Hey guys I got the shrimp- holy shit, Arya, why do you have a golden dildo?”</p><p>Theon’s abrupt entrance and subsequent words prompt Arya to toss the heirloom to Jon. Jon, in a state of panic and a wee bit drunk, tosses it to his right and straight through a stained glass window depicting the royal family. Prince Joffrey’s head has never looked better than with it gone entirely. </p><p>Jon turns to Theon and Arya, adrenaline and what feels like absolute madness rushing through him. He’s bent over a bit, hands messing up the precise work he’d put into his curls, and a silent scream is leaving him.</p><p>Theon awkwardly glances behind him and beside him, looking for a rescue. Seeing nothing but a deep red curtain behind him and a long marble hall on both sides, he looks back at Jon.</p><p>“Bad timing, I know, but I was saying I have the shrimp. I took every tray I could find and Rickon has already managed to get most to the car. Robb has it going already and Sansa should be around here somewhere.” Theon leans back to look through the deep red curtains behind him.</p><p>His arms are full of at least four shrimp trays and he can’t spot Sansa anywhere. He can’t go out to look either, people will think he’s serving the shrimp instead of stealing it.</p><p>“I’m here, fine, and I have wine!” Sansa announces as she walks in from behind Jon.</p><p>Jon turns to Sansa and can only groan. They are all going to be in so much trouble later. </p><p>Sansa’s holding up two large bottles of a deep red wine. It’s impossible for Jon to read the label, but it’s no doubt worth more than the Stark’s mansion. It’s a wine made just for events like this—charity auctions hosted by the royal family. Jon hates them but this year is turning into a fiasco. The year the curtains caught fire wasn’t even as bad as this. </p><p>“Okay, good, let’s go!”</p><p>Theon beckons them to follow him down the hall, well away from the hall and far away from any guards. Security is rather lax considering just last year there were no less than two assassination attempts. Though, the Starks all believe it was actually the Queen’s doing. They’re probably not wrong. Cersei may be the queen but she’s not exactly known for her love of her husband.</p><p>Jon reluctantly follows, he’s in it now. He threw a golden dick out a window, he’s a part of the crime. And it is a crime. Arya stole an heirloom, Theon and Rickon stole all of the shrimp, and Sansa stole wine worth enough money to make his head spin. They make it out of the building with no trouble and they’re doing so well, they even have time to stop at the coat check and grab their coats. The employees are all in the Great Hall, watching the auction or helping serve. There’s no one there to question them which also means there’s no one there to stop any of them from doing anything worse than they already have.</p><p>Robb has the car idling on the curb. Jon honestly isn’t even sure it’s the car they arrived in. He doesn’t ask. It isn’t until he’s sitting in the back, Sansa and Arya on either side of him, that he notices what they’re wearing.</p><p>“Are those your coats?”</p><p>Sansa stops smoothing down the white fur of her large coat. Jon could have sworn she was wearing blue when they arrived. She glances at Arya. Arya just continues rifling through the many pockets of the suit jacket she’s wearing. </p><p>“Maybe.” Sansa stretches the word, as if that’ll make it better.</p><p>Jon just sighs. </p><p>Arya crows triumphantly as she pulls out a roll of money. These are definitely not their coats. Arya is not a size 2X with a roll of twenties casually sitting in her pocket. She seems to think she is, though, as she starts counting the money. Grabbing a handful, she hands it to him.</p><p>“Hand this to Sans.” Automatically, Jon does. When Sansa’s pocketed it, he realizes what he did.</p><p>“Arya! That’s not yours!”</p><p>She looks up at him defiantly. “It is now!”</p><p>Theon cackles. Then, Theon starts choking on the shrimp. Bran pounds him on the back and Rickon follows suit. Except Rickon keeps hitting him once he’s stopped coughing.</p><p>“Okay, Rickon, enough! I have a fragile spine!”</p><p>“I’ll show you a fragile spine! You owe me fifty dollars,” Rickon declares.</p><p>Theon sputters, “Excuse me?”</p><p>“You said you’d give me fifty dollars if I could kick Joffrey in the balls and make it look like an accident! Pay up!”</p><p>Sansa beams, Robb whoops, Bran laughs, and Arya grabs another handful of money. She passes it to Rickon and a smaller handful to Theon. Theon just hands it to Rickon. Jon can’t even bring himself to mind it. It’s well deserved. </p><p>“I recorded it for all of our viewing pleasure later,” Bran says. </p><p>Jon has never been so excited to watch Rickon cause trouble. Maybe Ned and Catelyn would actually let this one slide when they heard about it. </p><p>“Theon, why’d you only get shrimp? I hate shrimp.” Arya questions, her nose scrunching. </p><p>“Cause it was the easiest to get and it wasn’t like there was a plan beforehand!”</p><p>Jon hears them bicker faintly as Robb turns on music. Bran and Rickon are taking turns on Bran’s phone. Jon is sure the video will be “anonymously” posted on the internet before they even reach their destination. Where are they going, actually? It’s probably just back their house. He should ask someone.</p><p>Jon turns to Sansa and is immediately distracted. She’s still smiling, but it’s a soft smile. One she wears only with her family. Jon adores it. The passing lights from the window make her lips shine from whatever product she has on them. The fur coat looks stunning on her, the white contrasting nicely again the shining silver of her gown. Her necklace and earrings seem bluer and her eyes brighter. Her hair is a thousand hues of gold and red and still hanging flawlessly around her shoulders despite them running. She’s starlight and he would gladly burn to just be by her.</p><p>“Aaaww, Jon, you’re such a poet!” Robb’s voice cuts through his thoughts. </p><p>Oh, gods, he’s said all of that aloud. He should not have had three glasses of champagne earlier. He just didn’t know how to talk to all of the people that kept coming up to him. He would sip on his drink and try to listen and just refill it when they walked away to avoid anyone else. </p><p>“Jon, please bless us with another sonnet!” Bran’s smile is mocking and full of childish glee. </p><p>Theon smirks at Jon, or tries to—his mouth is full of shrimp again and he doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. Arya and Rickon are rolling their eyes and making gagging noises. </p><p>“Oh, piss off,” he grumbles. </p><p>Sansa’s laugh is light and bubbly. Jon can’t help but gaze at her again. She reaches a hand up to his cheek. </p><p>“It’s alright, Jon. It’s sweet. You’re starlight too. I’ll gladly burn by you.”</p><p>She kisses his cheek and Jon is pretty sure his heart stops. What do you say to the stars when they say your beauty matches theirs? What do you tell the moon when you are the sun that would gladly give up its light so the moon can shine forever? </p><p>Sansa’s blushing and Jon is pretty sure he said all of that aloud again. He doesn’t mind. They may all have committed crimes tonight, some small and others definitely not small, but Jon will never see it as a crime to love and be loved by Sansa Stark. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let me know what you thought of this in the comments! I hope you enjoyed it! 💜</p><p>Also, let me know if you think I should just start putting all of my random one shots together in a series or something. Would that make it easier to read them/find them? And any ideas for new ones?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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